just so we’re clear:
- getting called out for doing something shitty is not the same as “getting hate”
- if someone is telling you that you did something shitty, they are not criticizing you as a person
- messing up does not make you an irredeemably awful human being
- but how you respond to criticism can be a pretty good indicator of your awfulness
Internalize the bold.
such social justice
To be white, or straight, or male, or middle class is to be simultaneously ubiquitious and invisible. You’re everywhere you look, you’re the standard against which everyone else is measured. You’re like water, like air. People will tell you they went to see a “woman doctor” or they will say they went to see “the doctor.” People will tell you they have a “gay colleague” or they’ll tell you about a colleague. A white person will be happy to tell you about a “Black friend,” but when that same person simply mentions a “friend,” everyone will assume the person is white. Any college course that doesn’t have the word “woman” or “gay” or “minority” in its title is a course about men, heterosexuals, and white people. But we call those courses “literature,” “history” or “political science.”
This invisibility is political.
Michael S. Kimmel, in the introduction to the book, “Privilege: A Reader” (via thinkspeakstress)
Okay I wanted to put these side by side but tumblr is being dumb and awful. Um, I just dyed my hair. It’s way purpler than this picture shows. Am I cute yet?
The terms “female to male” and the like inherently gender bodies in a way that is cissexist, since it depends on primary and secondary sex characteristics to gender someone. A trans woman wasn’t “born a man”, she was Designated Male At Birth by a doctor who adheres to social conventions. That’s what DMAB and DFAB stand for (as well as AMAB/AFAB which is just “assigned X at birth” instead) and is viewed as a way of stating how society has branded us without inherently gendering our bodies.
However, there are some people who use this to describe the change they wish to see in their bodies during transition, as there is no better phrase for it coined yet.
Intersex people have exclusive use of the phrases CAFAB/CAMAB which mean “Coercively assigned X at birth” - however, unless you have had genital reconstruction performed on you without your consent (usually as a child) you do not have access to these terms (disclaimer, I’m not Intersex and am not an ultimate authority on this).
Thank you for asking!
Those of us committed to a queer life know that forms of recognition are either precariously conditional, you have to be the right kind of queer by depositing your hope for happiness in the right places (even with perverse desire you can have straight aspirations), or it is simply not given. Not only is recognition not given but it is often not given in places that are not noticeable to those who do not need to be recognized, which helps sustain the illusion that it is given (which means that if you say that it has not been given, you are read as paranoid). Indeed, the illusion that same-sex object choices have become accepted and acceptable (for example, that civil partnerships would mean queer civility) both conceals the ongoing realities of discrimination, nonrecognition, and violence and requires that we approximate the straight signs of civility. So yes, we must stay unhappy with this world.
The recognition of queers can be narrated as the hope or promise of becoming acceptable, where in being acceptable you must become acceptable to a world that has already decided what is acceptable. Recognition becomes a gift given from the straight world to queers, which conceals queer labor and struggle, the life worlds generated by queer activism. It is as if such recognition is a form of straight hospitality, which in turn positions happy queers as guests in other people’s homes, reliant on their continuing good will. In such a world you are asked to be grateful for the bits and pieces that you are given. To be a guest is to experience a moral obligation to be on your best behavior, such that to refuse to fulfil this obligation would threaten your right to coexistence. The happy queer, who has good manners, who is seated at the table in the right way, might be a strategic form of occupying an uncivil world. But strategic occupations can keep things in place. Or we can stay in place through the effort of an occupation. Queer activisms create ‘a place at the table’ in the hope that the table will not keep its place. A revolution of unhappiness might require an unhousing; it would require not legitimating more relationships, more houses, even more tables but delegitimating the world that ‘houses’ some bodies and not others. The political energy of unhappy queers might depend on not being in house.
I thought that story was going to end badly and then it didn’t and I was really happy.
Asexual tag seems pretty full of people policing who is/is not asexual lately. And trash talking the idea of an asexual spectrum. Well I’m asexual, so I have just as much say in the community, and I want any gray asexuals or demisexuals or asexuals who aren’t “twue asexuals” to know you are 100% welcome in any community I inhabit. Anybody who says otherwise is an asshole and should be ignored.
Just because you aren’t 100% sex repulsed or uninterested in sex doesn’t mean you aren’t ace. If you feel sexual attraction in a way that makes you unable to fit in to mainstream allosexual society in some capacity (whether that is because you only feel sexual attraction very very rarely, or only with an emotional bond, or even you just have absolutely no interest in sex regardless of sexual attraction) then you belong in any community I inhabit. You may not be asexual, but you share so many of our experiences. You belong under the umbrella that shelters us from the prejudice of mainstream society just as much as any gold star asexual.
Why, yes, I did just watch a tutorial on how to clean oxidized pennies.
Aside, I just realized that Rabbit probably smells like old pennies. I love that smell.
This is one of my most favorite things ever